One Crazy August Day

It was one crazy Saturday that had a potential of being a wreck, but instead, I caused the wreck… in a good way.

It started in the morning with Eli’s baptism. I really like our pastor who gave details what are the next steps are and why they have to do it.  Here’s the video of Eli being baptized (For the record, my dad was holding the Flip, while I was handling the main camcorder):

After the baptism, it was off to lunch at my brother’s house and give Eli presents. One of my favorites was a hand sewn sandals my in-law made for Eli.

After lunch, it was off to the Metro to see some friends before heading to Nationals Park for the Nats-Cards.  However, when I entered the Vienna station, I encountered this.

That’s right, tea party people tailgating outside the station waiting for their family and friends.  Luckily, I put on a disguise, for which I will reveal later. When I got on, there was a full train of people coming from the Glen Beck rally and kind of expecting the worse.

It was a peaceful ride from Vienna to Rosslyn at the Orange Line, but when the train arrived at Foggy Bottom, the rush was on. From Foggy Bottom to my stop at Eastern Market, the platforms were full of Glenn Beck and Al Sharpton’s supporters coming into the train. I’m worried that my train would cause a riot. I came out unscathed and exited Eastern Market with no scratches.

I met up with the rest of the Mr. Tony littles at Ted’s Bulletin, which is from the owners of the popular Matchbox. It had an old 40s feel: the setting, the menus, the ambiance, and there’s no reception for cell phones. It’s a bit pricey, but there’s a lot food, so the price is justified.  If you’re wondering, I had the Walk of Shame Breakfast Burrito. It sounds like a Man v. Food item, but it wasn’t spicy or huge enough, but it was savory and tasty. After a few drinks, it was time to head to the ballpark.

At the ballpark, I was circling around getting a Pudge bobblehead, trying to find baby clothes for Eli and something for myself, and then found @DCyetti@Darkmeathook, and Maggie and Ashley of First Ladies of Baseball at the Scoreboard Walk.  Then, a camera man spotted me with the Elvis Silver Wig and ask me to participate in the Fan of the Game and jump around for 30 seconds. So I did:

(Courtesy of Maggie and Ashley of First Ladies of Baseball)

I was trying to pull a combo of Ric Flair “WOOOO!” and WWE’s Edge current entrance. If I have to do it again, I should of swerve my hips like Elvis and have a much more planned 30 seconds than the hooting and screaming. Nonetheless, my buffoonery won Fan of the Game and a $50 gift certificate from Harris Teeter. During the game, people were congratulating me, giving me hi-fives, and even strangers wanted to take pictures with me.

As for the game, it was something special as the Nats scored the most runs in their home park with 14, and won their 100th game at home.  It was an entertaining game as we saw controversial calls, an offensive explosion, and enjoying it with friends.

Before I continue, I must say on Nyjer Morgan’s play in the 8th inning, it looked like he was safe, but there was no replay. When I got home, I saw Nyjer missed the plate and intentionally was aiming for Brian Anderson, the Cardinals backup catcher. I really like Nyjer, aka Tony Plush, since he started the silver Elvis wig tradition within and inspired me to make a replica, but I guess he still has the hockey mentality to hit than play it straight and touch the base.  Riggleman was right to bench him on Sunday.

Moving on.

After the game, I went to the Navy Yard Metro station and one person yelled out “Fan of the Game” and everyone on the platform looked at the stairs and saw me coming down and did my thing for the people. When I got into the train, there were a few who banged on the windows to congratulate me and a couple said that “It was an honor to be with the Fan of the Game” (exact quote).  When i got to the Orange Line, I had the same responses, but after the Ballston stop, the remaining crowd in my train gave me a round of applause. I said jokingly that “This is biggest applause inside the Metro train will ever received.”

All in all, it was one of the strangest days with Eli’s baptism, the rally, the metro, the ball game, and winning Fan of the Game, although, my biggest regret is that I didn’t score any chicks after I won Fan of the Game. However, I can say I was part of history and enjoyed it with my family and friends (and strangers).  I can finally be known as the “Fun Uncle” for Eli.

Sunday Shout-out to Laurie Ruettimann

I have not dealt on this topic, but I will miss Laurie Ruettimann’s recently defunct blog, Punk Rock HR. It was the second HR blog I’ve read (the first was Melina Murray by googling “SHRM Chicago”) and it resonate with me.  The first post that fully got my attention was the “The guy that shall be nameless” and him leaving newspapers. That article inspired me to do the “If I Was Running A Company…” series, about my view on HR, although I know she’s annoyed of the HR and sports comparison for which I will quote my good friend, Rob Dibble, “Suck It Up!”

Seriously, I hope her new blog, The Cynical Girl, and her new venture at New Media Services will become a bigger success than Punk Rock HR from knowing her: 1)  she’s taller than Mike Lupica and 2) she’s has the personality and bite in her writing that will make her a success.

Now open up a Cutty Sark and have fun in Florida this week, Laurie.

The Dating Auction Experiment

Last night I attended the Citizen Gulf event where all the proceeds go to Gulf families who have children (or child). it was a wonderful event and meeting old friends and new faces.  So far, DC has raised over $1500, which is very good.

Almost a third of that came from the dating auction. The highest bid was $75, but to be fair, the starting bid was $5 and it was for fun and for charity.  This left me asking to myself (and a couple friends who ask me to do it): how much is my personal worth to be around?

So for the next couple weeks, I’m starting my dating auction experiment.  That’s right, I’m giving my soul selling my services for one day by auction.  This is probably a dumb idea, but after last night, I want to do it for the hell of it.

Here are the rules:

  • People in the Continental United States are eligible for this auction.
  • You must be 18 or over.
  • Only individual (man or woman) bidders, no group or company bidders.
  • No anonymous bidding. It is open to the public.
  • Please make your bid on this post comments below only. I will not take bids outside this post (email, Twitter, Facebook, etc.).
  • Your bid must be a multiple of 5.
  • Bid limit rules: Your bid cannot raise more than the size of the most recent bid (ex. The most recent bid is $40. You can bid up to $80. If you bid $85 after the $40 bid, the bid is invalid) except the last day where there’s no-limit bidding.
  • There is no monetary benefit for me, my company, and my affiliations.  All proceeds go to charity.
  • All bids are subject to review. If the winning bidder is invalid, the second to last bidder is the winning bidder.

For the winner of the auction:

  • If you use me in a personal setting – your entitled to a lunch/dinner and 1 event of your choice
  • If you use me in a professional setting – you have me between 9 AM – 5 PM
  • If the winning bidder lives outside the DC Metro area, you must accommodate my travel (I will pay for the amenities like bags, food, and others)

50% of the winning bid will go to Citizen Gulf and the other 50% will go to the charity of your choosing from this list:

What do I expect from this auction? I don’t know, but if you give yourself for charity, nothing can go wrong, right?  We’ll see. I’ll keep a daily update (except this Saturday where I’m very busy). By the way, a little synopsis about me if you’re a first time reader of my blog:

I’m the founder of my own company that deals with recruiting/staffing/social media in nonprofits and associations. I’m currently the Vice President of Outreach for the George Mason School of Management Alumni Chapter. I’m a huge DC Sports fan and the only team I like outside of DC is the Florida State Seminoles.  Some people recognize me as a Tony Kornheiser emailer and if Tony’s radio show is on, I’m listening while working. I’m not a suit guy unless the event warrants me to wear a suit. I like to try new things. I’m not a fan of chicken and ketchup. There are many things I want to mention, but you can go through the rest of my blog. Fini.

The auction ends on Friday, September 10 at 11:59PM EDT. Let the bidding start at $5.

Tracy’s Random Thoughts: The End of Summer, but not really the End of Summer because of Global Warming Edition

It’s been so long that I did this type of post, although there was good reason I didn’t do it.  So, onto the show:

1. Barack Obama

This past year has been tough for Obama and his administration from the economy, the oil spill, healthcare, etc.  As I look at what has Obama done, he has made great achievements from the stimulus, healthcare, and financial reform.  On the other hand, many in the left are disappointed that Obama has not lived up to his promises.  I have been an Obama supporter through and through, but his main problem is that he is not taken his own account of the situation.  I really like Obama’s view for the long-term that it will play out, but I like Lessig’s view best that liberals know Obama has to be center, but they’re more upset he’s not living up to his campaign promises and that he’ll be a different politician.  I think that’s where the dissension is and the left has that right to poke at Obama perform to that standard.  What I also say is it takes time, but I wish Obama advise people what he thinks what should be done and not make a lot of compromises.

2. Adrian Fenty

Speaking of Obama, if the left had a prototype of how Obama should be, it will be Adrian Fenty.  He has change Washington D.C. with better schools, less crime, and leadership (see his snow coverage in February).  He has shown that he’s a different politician. Then, how is Vince Gray beating Fenty in the straw polls?  The answer is Fenty is not a “people” mayor.  At times, Fenty does not show up in community meetings/town halls to discuss issues with the people.

That would be a big concern, but if you have a mayor who is doing it his way and is doing it that helps the city, would people skills matter since it could bog him down?  There is some commitment to be made, but Fenty could just ignore it after shaking people’s hands.  Basically, what were looking at is Sharon Pratt, but the difference is Fenty never moved the Redskins to Prince Georges County.

However in DC, its all about the people. Why you think Marion Barry got re-elected as mayor?

3. Gay Rights

Here’s my overall view: I am Catholic and am religious (but not up to my parents standards).  It still looks uncomfortable to see a man or woman kissing their own sex. It’s just a vibe from me, but if they’re happy and comfortable, more power to them.  I guess the majority of the people are getting the message.

4. Your DC Sports Update

Nationals:

At least you can say for the Nats is that their below average and not the bottom of the barrel anymore.  A few things I want to point out:

  • When Strasburg pitch after activated from the DL, attendance was around 25,000.  There were many factors: the heat and the “distrust” fans saw when Strasburg was suppose to pitch on July 27, but didn’t.  It’s likely in September the attendance will reduce because of football, but I think the last start was an anomaly
  • Mike Rizzo might become everyone’s favorite GM in DC after the moves he made and still keeping Adam Dunn.
  • The Bryce Harper Signing Deadline ends at midnight on August 16

Redskins:

Football has arrive and I will say this will the most interesting year the Redskins ever had. A proven coach and QB, but not a lot of help.  I hope the Redskins do well and if they win the Super Bowl this year, they can keep it for 2 years if the NFL and NFLPA come to an agreement.  From their game against the Bills, they’re closer than I thought. Then again, they are the Bills.

Wizards:

I’m glad people are buying tickets to see john Wall. Just sad the team will only go far as the Conference semifinals in the next 5 years when you have Miami, Orlando, Boston, Chicago, and others.

Capitals:

They haven’t done nothing. Still pissed, but I hope Flash gets traded and possible a second line center at the trading deadline (likely aiming for Brad Richards or Handzus).

5. Finally…

I’ve tweeted a couple of times, but just to let you know on August 9th, I became a first-time Uncle.  Say Hello to Elijah Dominic Tran:


(via my brother, Nate)

If I Was Running A Company…The People

During my time at NPR, I read this article from John Hollon of TLNT about the title of Chief People Officer and the main focus was on NPR’s new HR (People) head and former colleague of mine, Jeff Perkins.

Of Note: the reason I’m writing this article is my contract for NPR is up and I’m free to do whatever I want. If I wrote this article during my stay, it would have been review with NPR, so I waited until today.

In the article, there was debate if Chief People Officer is a legitimate title or a gimmick.  The article made wonderful points on both sides and I wouldn’t have any qualms.  In NPR’s case, you have to look into their HR history.

If you would ask me between 2005-07 about NPR human resources, I would say they were solid. They had budgets to go on conferences, job fairs, goodwill events, and others, plus their brand was very strong.  What change for NPR human resources was in 2008.  Most of it I can’t discuss, but part of it is the economy, and that’s where the mood of executives (and some employees) change and that is where HR is…a solid HR team with little to no budget.

One and a half years later, they ask me to come in to assist the recruiting team and build a social recruiting strategy.  I agree to do the administrative work since HR was under staff at the time and really want to change the department, hence selecting the new VP and CPO in the first two months I was there.  In the last two months, I was helping with their social recruiting strategy, but it couldn’t be finalize since there were a lot changes going around in HR. The only achievement I was there was the creation of the Linkedin account, although the base of their social recruiting strategy is there.

Of Note again: I posted my jobs and NPR events on my all-around account, @tracytran. I couldn’t do it on @tranrecruiting since I agreed to NPR to hire me as a full-time temp, hence the business was push aside for 4 months. Hence, you had to find my jobs through keywords or dedicated column on a third-party app NPR Jobs tweets with my name.  I wish to start up an NPR Careers Twitter account, but there was not enough time for approval.

In my opinion, I thought Chief People Officer was a little cheesy at first, but realize a month later, National Public Radio change their brand to NPR because they want to be known for their multimedia entity, and likely the title change to Chief People Officer was one of those steps internally and externally.

Whither you department is called Human Resources, The People, Norris, Rikishi, or whatever you name your “HR” department, it’s the actions and results behind your title that counts. In my one month with Jeff Perkins at NPR, it looks like he is really changing the department for a new direction and for the better and wish the best of luck.

By the way, NPR is looking for a Director of Talent Acquisitions. This one is on me :)

If I Was Running A Company…Jobs and Profits

Remember when economists say the recession will end late last year and jobs would be returning?  Well, the recession has ended (until the recent GDP report came out), but the jobs have not come back.  How can that be? Look at your employer.

In this Washington Post article, it states that nonfinancial companies altogether have $1.8 trillion in cash. If you have 1.8 trillion, it would easy to hire workers, get decent health benefits, 401 (k), and other benefits.  Then again, it is the company’s money and they can do whatever they want.  They can fire workers, be more productive with less workers and make more of a profit.  For that, I can’t fault organizations who penny-pinch their budget…that’s capitalism.

How about small businesses?  They don’t have the cash like corporations, but they do have resources in the Chamber of Commerce to help out on taxes and benefits. Then again, the Chamber of Commerce are speaking for themselves and not the whole community.

This is where business leaders point the blame to the Obama Administration; blaming them that they’re not creating jobs.  However, the Obama Administration did end the Great Recession. If these three areas have not solve the hiring issue, who can? Actually, all three share an answer: politics

The Obama Administration have the heart that they want to help the unemployed to find jobs, but the administration’s vibe says businesses should not be trusted. Corporations have tons of money but are making excuses that the $1.8 trillion that is leftover is not enough to pay for health benefits and others, and have the audacity to blame the Obama Administration for not creating jobs. For small businesses, they’re trusting the Chamber of Commerce advice too much instead going to their gut instincts.  No matter the result, all three are to blame for the biggest losers: the unemployed.

The unemployment is still at 9.5-9.6% where the numbers suppose  to dip at this time, but it has not happen because all three sides are playing politics. Steve Pearlstein of the Washington Post and Bob Herbert of the New York Times hit the nail when both said all three are posturing, but took offense of business leaders of attacking Obama for not creating jobs, when they have their own opportunity to hire more people, but elected not to.  To make matters worse, the unemployed might be creating a coalition to handle the BS from all three sides.

The only solution to solve all these problems are better communications among business leaders, the Chamber of Commerce and the Obama Administration on job creations, benefits, and the future of work.  If all sides communicate, you will see unemployment drop and a better understanding of healthcare and financial reform.  Am I naive this will happen? Yes. Do I think it will happen? Not a chance; it’s the mid-term elections, politics is about power and influence instead of collaboration.

For the unemployed who are getting screwed: if you’re job hunting, don’t look for job openings within the organization, look for an organization that have the balls to hire you.

Bonus: NFIB Small Business Trends

If I Was Running A Company…Ilya Kovalchuk

A bunch of my HR bloggers in the past few weeks have written a lot about LeBron James, his decision to join the Miami Heat, and how it reflects HR.  LeBron is a great example for people who like the NBA and HR…but it does not come close to what is going with Ilya Kovalchuk.

To summarize who Ilya Kovalchuk is; he’s a former number 1 pick in 2001, who played for the Atlanta Thrashers for 8 seasons.  He was a play-making forward who helped the Thrashers to go to their only playoff series in 2006-07, where they got swept by the New York Rangers. During the middle of this past season, Kovalchuk was traded to the New Jersey Devils, hoping to bring back the Stanley Cup in New Jersey. Unfortunately in the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, the Devils were eliminated in 5 games by the Philadelphia Flyers.  This is where the fun begins.

The reason the Atlanta Thrashers traded Kovalchuk is because they knew they couldn’t resign him since he rejected a 12 year, $102 million deal, plus they didn’t have the budget for his demands.  Everyone in the NHL knew Kovalchuk was the top free agent this offseason, so his value was very high.  Since that was establish, Kovalchuk wanted a 10+ year, 9 figure deal.  Usually in the NHL, free agents have decided after 12PM on July 1, which starts Free Agent Frenzy and Canada Day.  The problem: Kovalchuk didn’t sign with anyone.  He had choices between the Devils, Thrashers, the Los Angeles Kings, the New York Islanders, even the Kontinental Hockey League (KHL). People were worried that he might drive the value too high and/or was trying to be a divo. The problem was Kovalchuk is a top 10 talent in the NHL and he should merit in average how much the top ten make, and he is 27.

The situation has led to 20 days of drama, negotiations, bickering, and grandstanding.  However, Kovalchuk got the deal he wanted and signed a 17 year, $102 Million deal to return to the Devils.  Instead, the NHL rejected the offer because the contract was too front-loaded. It will eventually get resolved and everyone will be happy…except the Kings and every hockey fan outside of New Jersey.

In perspective:

For Ilya Kovalchuk, he had two job offers on the table: the Kings and the Devils. From reports, Kovalchuk wanted to go to L.A., but the Kings were offering 15 years, $80 million. The Devils decided to counter-offer and put 17 years and $102 million and that’s what Kovalchuk chose.  While almost everyone was signing on July 1, Kovalchuk waited to get an offer he liked and got it.

For the New Jersey Devils: they know Kovalchuk had great value, but they also know Kovalchuk wanted a contract over $100 million. They waited patiently and calculate the best offer for not only Kovalchuk’s needs, but their own needs.  Instead of paying him $10 million a year, Kovalchuk is going to get paid on average $7.5 million per year (granted, it’s a front-loaded contract).

For the NHL: I’m glad they stand up on someone (or team) that is trying to manipulate the system.  One problem: this rejection won’t last since you allow similar front-loaded contracts to go through from Marian Hossa, Chris Pronger, and Roberto Luongo. The NHL should re-read the Collective Bargaining Agreement and put it on your agenda as number one priority to cover the loophole in the next Collective Bargaining Agreement.

By the way, to look at each NHL team’s salary cap situation, go to Capgeek.com

For Devils General Manager Lou Lamoriello, you are a great negotiator and you kept Kovalchuk in New Jersey for 17 years (that might be a new record). After the contract talks are done, you should have shut up.  You made the situation worse when you publicly said you hated the structure of the contract and wanted to game the system. You were gotten away with it without consequences if you said nothing.  It’s alright to be quiet from time to time.

So to my HR friends, you can enjoy the LeBron James saga, but Ilya Kovalchuk’s situation is HR’s version of Inception.

2010 Washington Capitals Development Camp and Fanfest

I attended the last day of Caps Development Camp just to see the scrimmage, get a couple of stuff, and meet other Caps Tweeters.  If you’re looking for a comprehensive report of Caps Development  for the week… I’m not that guy. If you want to, go to these Caps sites:

As for the game I saw, the guys did look pretty tired after a long week and it showed, but this unit had more bite and intensity in this game.  Here are a few observations:

  • Dmitri Orlov is simply the next Andrei Markov if he can improve on the defensive side.  If he does that, he will be a perfect complement to Mike Green, if they’re ever teammates.
  • Joe Finley seems like a late bloomer to me.  He has the skills and tenacity and is literally Hal Gill 2.0.  However, he hasn’t translated to the rink yet.  He’s tall, physical, and can fight, but he needs to bring it altogether if he can make it to the Hershey roster.
  • The Finley-Pisano fight was terrible, but the Della Rovere-Bruess was an epic fight and both will be in the NHL and I think the Caps needs those characters now, but they’re not ready yet.
  • Almost 3000 came to see the scrimmage and the last day of Caps Development camp. Check that, 2500 people saw the scrimmage, while 500 people were waiting for Brooks Laich autograph and blow…tires.
  • After the shootout ended, the refs were still in World Cup mode. Look at the video below.
  • While the depth at Center for the current Caps roster has not been solved, the depth here at Caps Development Camp with Buress, Cody Eakin, Evgeny Kuznetsov, and Marcus Johansson has a lot of potential.  All this talk about Johansson is going to be a second line center should need to settle down.  He is going to be great for the Caps, but this is his first time on North American ice and coaches should be patient. If I were Boudreau, he should start in the 3rd Line at best and work his way up. You never know when he’ll hit the rookie wall. Cody Eakin showed that he can physical, which is a good thing, and Kuznetsov has tons of skill, but needs to mature and don’t choke under pressure.

This leads me to the overall viewpoint of the Caps offseason.  The future is bright as for the Caps as they have immense talent in Hershey and South Carolina.  However, do they players ready for the NHL now? No. Will some move up the NHL in a couple of years? Yes. Do I expect the Caps to resign all their UFAs next year? No.  I repeatedly said this, but it’s a critical year for the Caps next season.  They must advance far in the playoffs and stop going to Game 7s and stop getting eliminated early.  I expect one last hurrah for the current Caps team and hopefully a trade is in the works so they can get to the Stanley Cup Finals with this team before they have to make a decision.  From today, this group of players has a bright future and will be with the Caps for a long time (5 years in salary cap terms).

*Before you see the pictures and videos below, just want go off the board and tell you that the Hockey Foundation needs your help.  They need to raise $15,000 to send equipment and people to Ladakh.  If they reach their goal, one lucky person who donated $50 or more can be entered to win a trip to the Ladakh to assist handing out equipment to kids and play hockey over there.  For more details, go here: http://www.hockeyfoundation.org/active-contests/

Pics outside the scrimmage:

The game in its entirety:

If I Was Running A Company…Another Mel Kiper Award (July 2010)



I haven’t done this for a long time since I’ve been busy working, networking, tweeting, and catching up on stuff.  I’m also thinking about this heat wave that DC has been in for almost a month.  I would love it that the terrible blizzard earlier this year would return.  I can’t do that, but there is one recipient that will remind us of winter in summer.  Ladies and gentlemen, your next recipient of the Mel Kiper Award:

The 1979-1984 New York Islanders

Between 1979 to 1984, the New York Islanders won 4 straight Stanley Cups.  They were the dynasty of the early 1980s with players like Mike Bossy, Ken Morrow, Denis Potvin, Billy Smith and others; and Al Arbour giving instructions behind the bench.  What made this team special was not the players, the coach, Long Island. They were remembered for two words: PLAYOFF BEARDS!!!

The Islanders were credited of creating the playoff beards and the rest is history.  The playoff beards did four things:

Tradition

Before the 1979 season in 1976-1978, the Islanders were a great regular season team.  However, they were eliminated in the semifinals in those years and people were wondering if they can ever win a big series.  In the 1979-1980 season, they only had 91 points, but won the Stanley Cup that year.  All it took was a change in culture (or in this case, hair growth on the jaw line) and when a few players grew their beards, the Islanders won Stanley Cup after Stanley Cup for 4 seasons.

Motivation

By growing their playoff beards, the Islanders players look at Ken Morrow and others that when the playoff beard is growing, it starts to get serious.  This gave the Islanders an incentive to play harder each game and series so they want to see their own players grow their beards until they touch the Stanley Cup.

Legacy

After the Islanders dynasty ended, teams were trying to do their own traditions: The Winnipeg Jets did the whiteout, teams didn’t touch the conference trophies, playoff mullets, mohawks, you name it.  All these superstitions gave belief that one day, they can touch the Stanley Cup. Not only the playoff beards spread the NHL, it has spread to other sports leagues believing by growing their playoff beard, they have a shot at a title.  Fortunately for the New York Islanders, they won 4 straight and 19 straight playoff series, which will never be accomplish again in our lifetime in any sport.

Community

The New York Islanders sole purpose of growing the beard was winning the Stanley Cup and have achieve that, but the playoff beard had a life on its own.  Teams and the NHL itself, encourage players and fans to grow their beards to not only support their team, but do it for a real cause.  A few years ago, the NHL started a Beard-A-Thon for fans to grow their beards during the playoffs and to donate money to various charities.  In 2010, the Beard-a-Thon raised over $300,000 to the NHL team charities.

If it weren’t for the playoff beards, would we talk about the New York Islanders being a dynasty in the early 1980s?  We would never know and gladly don’t have to because the playoff beard change history and fate for the Islanders and for that: Thank you, New York Islanders.

If I Was Running A Company…Onboarding

Onboarding is simple: New employee comes in, learns the company and the system, and co-workers feel comfortable.  There are some who hate the process because 1) they don’t want to stay with the company that long, 2) they want to work, not learn the company and 3) they really hate the process overall.

There is the rare exception where onboarding can be a good thing. The video below might not be a classic employer video, but this video encourages me to join with the team (and if that doesn’t work out, I’ll buy season tickets if I have the money):

(The good part begins at 1:15)

Now, who wants to join this organization?  I DO!  By the way, about Dan Gilbert…