The Norman Chad Holiday Story

This is the story of Norman Chad and his 25 Ex-Wives. This is a fictional story, but with a real person.

Norman Chad was the original blogger. He wanted to stay home, eat a bunch of junk food and basically make money by watching TV. He has done that, but starting as a young adult, Norman Chad was a chick magnet. If you think chick magnet, you would think attractive, can play around the English language, and has the “it” factor. You wouldn’t imagine a chick magnet be like this:

However, Norman Chad is living the life…way too much life. Norman Chad has been married 25 times. Here are 25 stories of each wife:

Wife #1 – Meredith: Norman and Meredith were in love through college. Norman was an aspiring writer, while Meredith wanted to be a government wonk. They wanted to live in suburban D.C. and raise a family…until Norman realize Meredith REALLY wanted to work for the government. Norman hated federal workers and hate talking politics. Meredith got a job for the government. The both split up just one year of marriage.

Wife #2 – Gloria: Norman spotted Gloria at a local Prince George’s County Bar watching the Terrapins basketball game. Norman loved the way she can talk about sports and took her to his apartment. There, Gloria saw Norman was a mess. She took initiative and cleaned up Norman’s apartment. Norman was stunned…yet attracted since she was cleaning and watching TV at the same time. Norman found her woman. The both were married in 1981 and it was a great year for Norman: got married, his favorite team, the Oakland Raiders, won the Super Bowl, and send columns about sports and TV. Several newspapers, including the Washington Post, picked up his column and Norman’s career started. It was the life in the 1980s: man makes the money, the wife makes the house. It was going well until mid 1982, when the Raiders were allowed to move to Los Angeles. It was then Norman Chad wanted to move to L.A. to further enhance his career. Gloria loved her life. Then one day, Norman gave Gloria roses, a handsome man, and divorce papers. Norman Chad was heading to L.A.

Wife #3 – Jaime: Since Norman moved to L.A., he had all the luck: he was a syndicated writer, he started playing big-time poker, and his L.A. Raiders defeated the Washington Redskins in Super Bowl XVIII. At a Super Bowl party, Norman met Jaime. They had a nice talk and shared a lot of things. They got married in July of 1984. Marriage ended in December of the same year and Norman realizes Jaime was attracted to plastic surgery.

Wife #4 - Jeanne: Norman first met Jeanne at the 1984 Olympic Games in L.A. when she was a volunteer. Norman was stunned by Jeanne’s good looks and wanted to marry her. The got married in early 1985…and lasted for 3 weeks since all Norman thought about Jeanne was sex.

Wife #5 - LaLaine: Norman met LaLaine at an UCLA game in 1986. What interested Norman going to UCLA was his alma mater, the University of Maryland, had a superstar in Len Bias. Norman got so excited for UMD basketball, he did not care LaLaine was a UCLA fan. It was blind love. They were married in May 1986. two months later, the couple was divorce not because they grown apart, but LaLaine’s name was similar to Len’s name and it had an emotional attachment to Norman since Len passed away by drugs. They became friends after the divorce.

Wife #6 – Jade: Norman took a break from dating in 1987 for one year after what happened in his last marriage. In 1988, Norman was back in the dating scene. She met Jade at a bookstore, reading up on various pop culture books. They were married in August 1988 after the Seoul Olympics and got a present from Michael Wilbon…cooked dog. Shortly thereafter, the couple vacationed in Hawaii. It was there, someone accidentally order the movie, Ishtar, at their room. Norman saw the movie since he had nothing to do. At the end of the movie, Norman was watching the credits and saw under, “Extras,” Jade Hickenbottom…Norman’s wife. Yep, Jade was part of the worst movie in cinema history. Norman didn’t want to travel back to L.A. with an extra who was part of a terrible movie. So, Norman bolted and left a note to Jade and $1.25.

Wife #7 – Shirley: In 1989, Norman met Shirley in Las Vegas at a bookkeeping convention. Shirley knows the matchups and knew if the house was crazy or lax. Norman was impressed by her skills. They got married in June 1989. This was the first marriage Norman truly fell in love. In his columns, Norman started to put his wife in it when the one-liner, “Pay the man, Shirley.” One little thing about the marriage is in the pre-nuptial agreement that if the Redskins win the Super Bowl during their marriage, they immediately divorce the next day and split their stuff, 50/50. Apparently, Shirley was a huge Redskins fan and she would never see the Redskins winning the Super Bowl again. On January 26, 1992, the Redskins won Super Bowl XXVI. One day later, the couple divorce. This was Norman’s longest marriage to date.

Wife #8 – Destiny: So down in the dumps since the divorce…and the Redskins winning the Super Bowl, Norman was back to the dating scene and heading up the Las Vegas strip. Drinking his sorrows, Norman met a stripper name Destiny. He told his long story to her and had a one night stand. It was also they were officially married. Realizing this, Norman called it off after 1 day.

Wife #9 – Unknown: Norman decided to write a book about being a TV sports junkie, for this, he took out an ad looking for a woman to live with him for a few months so he has an inspiration for his book. Only one person answered his ad. The person did not have a name, but Norman had no choice. Norman brought in a judge and the two were married. Five months later, the book was finished and Norman dumped her to go on his book tour.

Wife #10 – Abigail/Wife #11 – Angie/ Wife #12 – Bethany/ Wife #13 – Georgia/ Wife #14 – Jennifer/ Wife #15 – Rachel/ Wife #16 – Doris/ Wife #17 – Maude/ Wife #18 – Brittany/ Wife #19 – Ginger:  Throughout 1993, Norman Chad was traveling the U.S. to promote his book, Honey, I’ll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime (Confessions of a TV Sports Junkie). The book was a success and Norman was finally getting the attention…and the ladies. In a one-time stunt, Norman became a one day polygamist and married 10 women…and divorce all 10 women. Hence the “Sleeping with Angels” line he uses.

Wife #20 – Deidre: Norman took a break from dating between 1994-1996 with Nancy-Tonya, O.J., and the Olympics. He then struck a deal with America Online on posting his columns on their sports section. There, Norman discovered the internet, especially internet dating and chat rooms. This is where Norman’s personality was a blessing…and a curse. By having his columns online, more people will see Norman’s columns. However, the ladies would know his personality and quite frankly, he almost fits a description of a pedophile. There was one person who was interested in Norman. Deidre lived in Seattle and love the Pacific. There online chats were hot, and shared a lot of things. Norman did something innovative…he wanted to marry Deidre online through the help of AOL. Norman has never seen Deidre’s face, but with their interaction through chat rooms, Norman sounded so confident, the woman who she is marrying, he didn’t check who she looks like…or he. When the ceremony ended, Norman saw video of Deidre…a drag queen (real name: Joe Sanders). Norman realizing what he did, call it off the second he saw him.

Wife #21 – Dorothy/ Wife #22 – Cheryl/ Wife #23 – Nancy: Online dating has hurt Norman Chad’s chances of really attracting a woman. Then in 2003, Norman had a second career. ESPN started to show segments for the World Series of Poker and wanted Norman to do commentary. Norman shine through the shows and became a TV star. It was also the 10th Anniversary of Honey, I’ll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime (Confessions of a TV Sports Junkie). To relive his book release, Norman wanted to be a polygamist again. This time, he only married 3 people, not 10, since he has gotten older and and can’t really handle 10 people. Basically the same as 1993: married and divorce on the same day.

Wife #24 – Leslie: With his new poker fame, Norman was swarm with fans and tons of ladies. He was getting interview requests and was the talk among the poker community. Norman also is a poker player and at a circuit tournament in L.A., he met Leslie. She had red hair and was a chatterbox. Norman reminded her of Tony Kornheiser. The couple married in L.A. in May 2004. Everything was right in Norman’s world…until he had a rift with Kornheiser. It was the time at Monday Night Football is where Tony got the gig and Norman was either jealous or didn’t know what to do. When Tony got the MNF gig, their friendship deteriorated. When the friendship deteriorated, Norman’s marriage deteriorated. Norman and Leslie broke up in 2006.

Wife #25 - Toni: Norman realizing he was fast approaching 50 and wanted to settle down. After trials and tribulations with his dates and friends, Norman was seeking love again. We know the friendship between Norman and Tony Kornheiser declined, but Norman spotted a winner in Toni. They took a shot in married in 2007. Currently, they’re still married. Let’s hope they stay that way.

If I Was Running A Company…The Perfect Interview

The perfect interview is very easy to answer: when the employer offers you the position.  However, what would lead to the perfect interview, or eventually, an offer?

I ponder this question because I was volunteering at the Goodwill of Greater Washington and volunteer to help out the job seekers to practice their interviewing skills.  After the session was over, David Amoroso, the Employment Skills Trainer at the Goodwill of Greater Washington, asks me what is the perfect interview.  I knew the answer, but the answer sounds condescending and needed deeper thought.   The first thing that popped in my mind is chemistry between  the interviewer and interviewee.  While thinking about it more, I was right.

You can do all the preparation, scripts, practicing, handling the nuiances and the other stuff to prepare for the interview.  However, it’s genuine chemistry, especially during these times, makes a difference of getting a job.

To create chemistry, you have to do some research.  The first thing you research is which companies and industries you want to work for, then look up who is doing the hiring for the position you applied to, then the fun begins.

It used to be find a job, interview, and get lucky if the company made an offer.  Now these days, it is who you know in the company that your applying for.  Although you might not know anyone in the company, technology and social media have made it easier for the hiring manager and applicant to relate.  Linkedin is perfect to know the background of the hiring manager, but what job seekers should look into is if the hiring manage has a blog and/or Twitter.  Some hiring managers use their account to talk about their industry views or personal life.  Use that information and carry it to the interview since you know the conversational flow of the hiring manager.  For example, if someone looks into my blog and/or Twitter, they would know I talk about the Caps, nonprofits, HR, and Tony Kornheiser.  The applicant should use the information and carry it to the interview so you don’t feel out of place.  If you don’t have a Linkedin or Twitter account, I would start one now not because it’s popular, but free information is given to you.

In an interview, do not come thinking they care about your skills and abilities;  go there thinking this is a two-way conversation.  The chemistry will decide if you get an offer.

Dating and Networking

So yesterday, I attended my first speed networking event for the DC Chamber event.  It was a decent meeting.  What I was surprise was the age group varied from young adult, middle age, to the upper age group.  It struck me on two things: 1) I need to go to more DC Chamber events and should of been a member, and 2) It was an effective event, depending who you are looking for.  I got some progress, but I wouldn’t expect this event would help me long-term since most of the companies were in printing, marketing, carpeting, etc.  It might be correlated, but you’re not sure if they are going to assist you.

However, this leads me to something that I haven’t thought about but makes perfect sense:  networking = dating.  There are many similarities between dating and networking:

•  You’re there to find a connection, and a trust to someone or a group.
•  You’re selling yourself.
•  You pick up numbers.
•  Carry a blackbook or Blackberry to organize thoughts
•  You go on a second “session.”
•  An agreement (depending on the situation and you know what I’m talking about).
•  The honeymoon period.
•  The collaboration.
•  The conflict.
•  At some point, separation.
•  Finally, the final decision (In my case, annulment).

So, when you’re at a networking event, be on a hunt like a person finding a date and find something that attracts you.  Of course, no cheesy pick-up lines and don’t jump out too quickly, take it slowly to see if there is a connection.

There are two things I learned from this event:

1. It’s great to dress up for an event at the fancy University Club in DC.  I wouldn’t try wearing a shoulder strap dress that you were going clubbing that night.  I’ll be honest, I took my first sip of water when she came by.   Also, the room was hot… Unfair.
2. On either a networking event or on a potential date (I have none):  I’m very selective.

We’re back in 2 and 2.

Tracy’s Random Thoughts April 2007 edition

Oh boy, Spring.  Now let’s move.

1. Don Imus

Everyone knows about the story so I don’t have to repeat it.  The only time I listen/watch to Imus, he had Patrick McEnroe as a guest and he was steaming at the Imus crew.  I view Don Imus as an attention grabber and I would say the first line of “shock jocks.”  His comment was inexcusable, but I don’t think he should be fired.   There have been many worse comments from Imus in the past, but why now?

1. His comments were to college students, who were women, who can’t defend themselves.  They’re young and still learning about the world and Imus attacked on the spot on which they are.
2. This is in a sports context.  From literature, science, entertainment, business, and other subjects, sports have the most impact either social or political.  If it were any subject, it might have some play, but only for a couple of days.  Sports are in a different level.  You have sports fans, ESPN, blogs, and others to deal with.  If there is a protest, you can be sure the prominent figures will come and every network will cover it, including HGTV.

I don’t think Imus is a racist, a bigot, or a homophobe.  What I think he is typical of all the shock jocks:  trying to push the envelope.  There was the water incident this past year in Seattle that caused a death of a contestant; there was Opie and Anthony sex church scandal a few years ago.  What Imus did was miniscule.  However, when sponsorships pulled out, CBS Radio and MSNBC pulled out as well.  There are so many angles to this story, I will break this down:

• Money will always win out.  Imus was still raking in decent money for CBS and MSNBC, but the name of the game is “What have you done for me lately?”  Imus got burned in the last week and was fired for losing money.
• The Rutgers women’s basketball team took the high road and had a private discussion with Imus.  Everyone thought it was about race, but it was about sexism and image as well.  Oh, this won’t hurt one bit what Rutgers is doing.
• Two people I haven’t mentioned, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, should not deserve to be mentioning in any of this.  Al and Jesse were out for themselves and found their pig in Imus.  It was to them, publicity gold.  They can raise their chests high, but let’s not forget both of their history.  This includes the pundits who go to these news shows and spurted out junk for their own attention.  That is why I listen to NPR (and Tony Kornheiser).
• The networks are too gutless.  This was the week WFAN had their radiothon to sponsor all the charities, including Imus’s.  I think it was out of fear that CBS Radio and MSNBC didn’t want a “hateful” person like Imus to do this, so they canned him.  That is still not right.  Let him finish off the charity work, which I don’t think Imus is faking, and fire him after the radiothon.  Again, image and money is important, but what about the other outlets that do worse than what Imus did?
• Now there are shirts out on eBay with Imus’s comment (The reason I’m not using the quote is we already know the quote and it beats a dead horse) for profit.  That to me people do not take this seriously and they want to pocket the money for themselves.  Anything for a buck.
• This also brought out the old discussion on what is appropriate or not to other people, including rappers and ourselves in a daily basis.  Is it for positive reinforcement or bringing back the stereotype?
• This is out of left field but significant, John Corzine was supposed to be the mediator between Imus and Rutgers, but got in a car accident and is in the hospital and in critical condition.

I think is that Imus will get a job in satellite radio, WFAN will be a sports station, Al and Jesse need a better fight: the black community, and all the pundits need to shut up!!!

Bonus Material:  Here is a fine column from Jason Whitlock on this.

2. The Duke Scandal

You know the new Durham district attorney would drop all the charges.  But, Mike Nifong apologizes for his actions and for the three lacrosse players.  Why apologize?  You have scorned them for the rest of the lives out of your own benefit.  Here’s a better solution:  Lose your title, lose your license, give all the money to these kids, and be pelted by rocks by the Durham community.  Sadly, that would help a little.

3. E-mail dumping

Congress wanted the e-mails the White House deleted that were delivered to and from Karl Rove.  The story is very complex, but if there are emails deleted, involves Karl Rove, Congress wanted those emails for investigation, and spin, the administration is in trouble…Oh wait, they are in trouble right now.

4. Anna Nicole Smith’s father

Enough of the story, move on.

5.  Spring…no, it’s Winter

I love that we had this cold blast these past couple of weeks.  This might break the notion that global warming is a myth.  Nah, it exists (look at the North and South Poles), but for once it was great to have cold air.  The only sad part is the cherry blossoms didn’t bloom at full peak and if you go to my pictures at Facebook, the blossoms were unimpressive.  Still, I love the brisk, mild weather, so this is a nice change.  Spring will come back, but don’t tell me about summer.

6.  Lucky

Dreamed up phone number leads man to a bride LONDON (Reuters) – A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message. David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying “Did I meet you last night?.”

Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.

“It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked,” Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. “My mum and dad kept saying ‘But he could be an axe murderer’, but I knew there was something special about it.”

After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple — he’s six foot seven inches tall and she’s five foot four — have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of
Goa.

A love-struck Brown said: “I’ve no idea how I ended up with her number in my head — it’s only a few digits different from mine.” 

I wish I had that skill.  Probably only happen to the British.  Here in America, everyone is a spammer.

There are a lot of stories, but that is it for today.  Don’t forget Jackie Robinson, Kurt Vonnegut, and paying your taxes.  

Happy Valentine’s Day (and a little warning)

Hope your having a great Valentine’s Day.

I always believe love is going to be random. What some people don’t know is you have to go out and examine if there is a right person. What I don’t like in most relationships these days is people have expectations. They believe in “Love at first sight.” I always hated the term “Love at first sight” because if that were true, I would have been a polygamist having married and dated tens of women at the same time. I can easily look at a person and say she’s beautiful. Anyone can say that. The problem is beyond that.

I can say I have somewhat of experience in that category. When I was a sophomore at George Mason, I worked in the bookstore with Liana (Just for the record, I’m a guy). I thought she was beautiful and attractive, like I see in anyone. Then, when I started to have conversations with her, we actually had a bond. Probably that was my very first crush in my life. I was playing “best friend.” Our conversations were natural and real (Although she has to lay off on the Hilary Clinton bandwagon). We were having discussions about politics, movies, etc. The problem was she has a continuous relationship with someone different every three months. The bigger issue was I am really in love with this person. I had no control and for that I came to her house a couple of times and even bought college books for her. The last time I saw her was during her French class (scary I remember that) after I came after my radio gig and was the last time I spoke to her in person. Yes, I admit I was stalking, but I was 19 and in love for the first time. (Of note: I WILL NOT STALK SOMEONE AGAIN, I LEARNED MY LESSON.) It hit me during my Junior year that my crush was gone for good. To this day, I’m still friends with Liana (although she does keep a lot of ex-boyfriends and ex-friends), but haven’t spoken in three years. The only contact is her blog and profile from the site I will never mention. If you want to know, she is in a relationship but has said she is happy with this person, has a job, a plan, and a new car. I’m happy for her, but at the time, I missed my opportunity.

As for me, well I’m still single and not in a rush to go in the dating scene. The only requirements for me are your not a Dallas Cowboys fan, a New York Yankees fan, and not worship Faux News and the conservative blowhards (Hey, I thought you said you want a relationship with no boundaries, you hypocrite.) If I get married, I want to have kids and have influence my kid(s) to be greater than me and my family. For a woman who is interested somewhere I am, a nice talk is a good start. Also, I’m a bit shy so please start the conversation.