The Norman Chad Holiday Story

This is the story of Norman Chad and his 25 Ex-Wives. This is a fictional story, but with a real person.

Norman Chad was the original blogger. He wanted to stay home, eat a bunch of junk food and basically make money by watching TV. He has done that, but starting as a young adult, Norman Chad was a chick magnet. If you think chick magnet, you would think attractive, can play around the English language, and has the “it” factor. You wouldn’t imagine a chick magnet be like this:

However, Norman Chad is living the life…way too much life. Norman Chad has been married 25 times. Here are 25 stories of each wife:

Wife #1 – Meredith: Norman and Meredith were in love through college. Norman was an aspiring writer, while Meredith wanted to be a government wonk. They wanted to live in suburban D.C. and raise a family…until Norman realize Meredith REALLY wanted to work for the government. Norman hated federal workers and hate talking politics. Meredith got a job for the government. The both split up just one year of marriage.

Wife #2 – Gloria: Norman spotted Gloria at a local Prince George’s County Bar watching the Terrapins basketball game. Norman loved the way she can talk about sports and took her to his apartment. There, Gloria saw Norman was a mess. She took initiative and cleaned up Norman’s apartment. Norman was stunned…yet attracted since she was cleaning and watching TV at the same time. Norman found her woman. The both were married in 1981 and it was a great year for Norman: got married, his favorite team, the Oakland Raiders, won the Super Bowl, and send columns about sports and TV. Several newspapers, including the Washington Post, picked up his column and Norman’s career started. It was the life in the 1980s: man makes the money, the wife makes the house. It was going well until mid 1982, when the Raiders were allowed to move to Los Angeles. It was then Norman Chad wanted to move to L.A. to further enhance his career. Gloria loved her life. Then one day, Norman gave Gloria roses, a handsome man, and divorce papers. Norman Chad was heading to L.A.

Wife #3 – Jaime: Since Norman moved to L.A., he had all the luck: he was a syndicated writer, he started playing big-time poker, and his L.A. Raiders defeated the Washington Redskins in Super Bowl XVIII. At a Super Bowl party, Norman met Jaime. They had a nice talk and shared a lot of things. They got married in July of 1984. Marriage ended in December of the same year and Norman realizes Jaime was attracted to plastic surgery.

Wife #4 - Jeanne: Norman first met Jeanne at the 1984 Olympic Games in L.A. when she was a volunteer. Norman was stunned by Jeanne’s good looks and wanted to marry her. The got married in early 1985…and lasted for 3 weeks since all Norman thought about Jeanne was sex.

Wife #5 - LaLaine: Norman met LaLaine at an UCLA game in 1986. What interested Norman going to UCLA was his alma mater, the University of Maryland, had a superstar in Len Bias. Norman got so excited for UMD basketball, he did not care LaLaine was a UCLA fan. It was blind love. They were married in May 1986. two months later, the couple was divorce not because they grown apart, but LaLaine’s name was similar to Len’s name and it had an emotional attachment to Norman since Len passed away by drugs. They became friends after the divorce.

Wife #6 – Jade: Norman took a break from dating in 1987 for one year after what happened in his last marriage. In 1988, Norman was back in the dating scene. She met Jade at a bookstore, reading up on various pop culture books. They were married in August 1988 after the Seoul Olympics and got a present from Michael Wilbon…cooked dog. Shortly thereafter, the couple vacationed in Hawaii. It was there, someone accidentally order the movie, Ishtar, at their room. Norman saw the movie since he had nothing to do. At the end of the movie, Norman was watching the credits and saw under, “Extras,” Jade Hickenbottom…Norman’s wife. Yep, Jade was part of the worst movie in cinema history. Norman didn’t want to travel back to L.A. with an extra who was part of a terrible movie. So, Norman bolted and left a note to Jade and $1.25.

Wife #7 – Shirley: In 1989, Norman met Shirley in Las Vegas at a bookkeeping convention. Shirley knows the matchups and knew if the house was crazy or lax. Norman was impressed by her skills. They got married in June 1989. This was the first marriage Norman truly fell in love. In his columns, Norman started to put his wife in it when the one-liner, “Pay the man, Shirley.” One little thing about the marriage is in the pre-nuptial agreement that if the Redskins win the Super Bowl during their marriage, they immediately divorce the next day and split their stuff, 50/50. Apparently, Shirley was a huge Redskins fan and she would never see the Redskins winning the Super Bowl again. On January 26, 1992, the Redskins won Super Bowl XXVI. One day later, the couple divorce. This was Norman’s longest marriage to date.

Wife #8 – Destiny: So down in the dumps since the divorce…and the Redskins winning the Super Bowl, Norman was back to the dating scene and heading up the Las Vegas strip. Drinking his sorrows, Norman met a stripper name Destiny. He told his long story to her and had a one night stand. It was also they were officially married. Realizing this, Norman called it off after 1 day.

Wife #9 – Unknown: Norman decided to write a book about being a TV sports junkie, for this, he took out an ad looking for a woman to live with him for a few months so he has an inspiration for his book. Only one person answered his ad. The person did not have a name, but Norman had no choice. Norman brought in a judge and the two were married. Five months later, the book was finished and Norman dumped her to go on his book tour.

Wife #10 – Abigail/Wife #11 – Angie/ Wife #12 – Bethany/ Wife #13 – Georgia/ Wife #14 – Jennifer/ Wife #15 – Rachel/ Wife #16 – Doris/ Wife #17 – Maude/ Wife #18 – Brittany/ Wife #19 – Ginger:  Throughout 1993, Norman Chad was traveling the U.S. to promote his book, Honey, I’ll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime (Confessions of a TV Sports Junkie). The book was a success and Norman was finally getting the attention…and the ladies. In a one-time stunt, Norman became a one day polygamist and married 10 women…and divorce all 10 women. Hence the “Sleeping with Angels” line he uses.

Wife #20 – Deidre: Norman took a break from dating between 1994-1996 with Nancy-Tonya, O.J., and the Olympics. He then struck a deal with America Online on posting his columns on their sports section. There, Norman discovered the internet, especially internet dating and chat rooms. This is where Norman’s personality was a blessing…and a curse. By having his columns online, more people will see Norman’s columns. However, the ladies would know his personality and quite frankly, he almost fits a description of a pedophile. There was one person who was interested in Norman. Deidre lived in Seattle and love the Pacific. There online chats were hot, and shared a lot of things. Norman did something innovative…he wanted to marry Deidre online through the help of AOL. Norman has never seen Deidre’s face, but with their interaction through chat rooms, Norman sounded so confident, the woman who she is marrying, he didn’t check who she looks like…or he. When the ceremony ended, Norman saw video of Deidre…a drag queen (real name: Joe Sanders). Norman realizing what he did, call it off the second he saw him.

Wife #21 – Dorothy/ Wife #22 – Cheryl/ Wife #23 – Nancy: Online dating has hurt Norman Chad’s chances of really attracting a woman. Then in 2003, Norman had a second career. ESPN started to show segments for the World Series of Poker and wanted Norman to do commentary. Norman shine through the shows and became a TV star. It was also the 10th Anniversary of Honey, I’ll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime (Confessions of a TV Sports Junkie). To relive his book release, Norman wanted to be a polygamist again. This time, he only married 3 people, not 10, since he has gotten older and and can’t really handle 10 people. Basically the same as 1993: married and divorce on the same day.

Wife #24 – Leslie: With his new poker fame, Norman was swarm with fans and tons of ladies. He was getting interview requests and was the talk among the poker community. Norman also is a poker player and at a circuit tournament in L.A., he met Leslie. She had red hair and was a chatterbox. Norman reminded her of Tony Kornheiser. The couple married in L.A. in May 2004. Everything was right in Norman’s world…until he had a rift with Kornheiser. It was the time at Monday Night Football is where Tony got the gig and Norman was either jealous or didn’t know what to do. When Tony got the MNF gig, their friendship deteriorated. When the friendship deteriorated, Norman’s marriage deteriorated. Norman and Leslie broke up in 2006.

Wife #25 - Toni: Norman realizing he was fast approaching 50 and wanted to settle down. After trials and tribulations with his dates and friends, Norman was seeking love again. We know the friendship between Norman and Tony Kornheiser declined, but Norman spotted a winner in Toni. They took a shot in married in 2007. Currently, they’re still married. Let’s hope they stay that way.

The Tenth Inning Review

Since I went to the screening to The Tenth Inning it is right of me to do the full review.  Let me say start on the negatives:

• There was only one mention of baseball in Washington D.C. I’m amazed they didn’t profile Peter Angelos and how it was handled.  I’m bias here, but Angelos fight to not have a team in D.C. plus the whole stadium fight would have at least 10 minutes of material.
• You might be stunned by this, but they didn’t tell enough about the Yankees dynasty era from 1996-2001. They told the Joe Torre story, which was great, but I wanted them to expand on how great they were in 1998, which was the second best story behind the home run chase.
• One big omission was when Mike Piazza hit a walk-off HR on the first game back from 9/11. I thought that home run tell us “We’re Back in Business” throughout the country.

However, the miniseries made an important point throughout the 4+ hours that from the strike and the steroids scandal, there’s a romanticism between fans and baseball that would never be explained.  You understand why people like football, basketball, and hockey, but if you ask people why they like baseball, you get a variety of answers.

The most stunning revelation about the film is how much people love baseball. During the home run chase, Steve Wilstein discovered Andro in Mark McGwire’s locker and people were attacking on Wilstein, who was just reporting the story, and the fans and media covered their ears and did not want to hear any bad stuff during the chase.  The steroid scandal grew after 1998 and when people realize it was a fantasy, baseball lost its innocence, but an unexpected source help baseball back to its feet.

The steroid hearings from Canseco, Palmeiro, McGwire, and Sosa and the Mitchell Report were two of the darkest days in baseball, but it was watching a public confession and it had to be done to cleanse the sport physically and spiritually all guided by the Federal Government. The Federal Government played a big role in baseball as they healed the relationship between the owners and the Union.  If there were no Congressional hearings, would we be seeing another strike in 2002? Personally, that was going to happen, but I guess Congress sees baseball as the true America’s sport and does not want baseball to sink to despair, so they have to step in so baseball doesn’t lose anymore fan support.

In the viewpoint of Ken Burns, the media, fans, and government were in a dream during the steroids era no one want to escape, but someone had to pop the bubble. When reality set in, the game went from a video game to the real game people still love because although the players and technology change, the game hasn’t change.

For that, The Tenth Inning truly tells why people still love baseball in its darkest days and why baseball will still exist: the romanticism of the game from all corners.

2010 Predictions

Now the time of year where I look like a doofus and make some bold predictions. Just look at my predictions last year (although one was affected by Yanni, which no one saw it coming).  So, let me get my psychic gear:

And here we go:

• Republicans will recapture the House and gain a 4 seats in the Senate on Election Day
• Obama’s Approval Rating will still hover 50% and probably will be in the next 2 years
• The jobs market will improve since 2010 will be a rebound year.  2011 will be the most interesting year with government contracts ending.
• There will be more consultants/contractors because they want to do more than one thing, hence…
• Companies will start to talk about human billboards
• Verizon will have a huge year with their “rumored” iPhone 4G.
• If Facebook was 2007, YouTube in 2008, Twitter in 2009, 2010 has a few candidates. My top 3: Foursquare, Square, and Formspring.me
• Major gifts to nonprofits will stay the same in 2010 as people will start getting to the flow of things.
• More violence arises in Iran, but more and more, Iranians will switch to the green Revolution.
• Out: Personal Branding /5 minutes ago: Candidate Pipeline/ In: Execution
• Average Conference attendance will improve 3% from the previous year.
• The Washington Capitals will make the Stanley Cup Final…and be part of the 2011 Winter Classic against the New York Rangers at Yankee Stadium.
• The Washington Redskins and the Dallas Cowboys will have the two biggest payrolls in the NFL in 2010 since this is an uncapped year.  The Redskins will not go to the playoffs.
• The Nationals (or Natinals) will not lose 100 games.
• The Wizards…you know.
• Rupert Murdoch will attempt to buy the Washington Post since half the editors used to work with the Wall Street Journal.
• There will be more independent musicians in the market
• The new term of 2010: Urban Farming
• More people will declare themselves independents (although, in technicality, everyone is an independent)
• For the hell of it, The TV Show, Ed, will be released on DVD.
• The Winter Olympics will have higher ratings than american idol at times since it’s in Vancouver.
• Since the World Cup is in South Africa, Brazil will win the World Cup and USA will make it to the Round of 16.
• Tiger Woods will be athlete of the year after winning in majors in Pebble Beach and St. Andrews
• While social media usage is still going to grow, it will not overtake emails and texting.  That will take 3-5 years
• The new home/office accessory everyone will ask: the Tablet
• Finally…The Animal Revolution will still reign supreme in 2010 and there is no one can contain or stop it.

I hope these predictions hit the mark (or close to it). See you in 2010.

If I Was Running A Company…Pop Culture HR Award #4

For the fourth recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award, this person has been there for 10 years and this week, there will be a huge celebration.  This person could be also be known to help a certain employee reach to their maximum potential.  Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you the fourth winner of the Pop Culture HR Award:

MR. EUGENE H. KRABS

Mr. Krabs started his business a while ago with other fry cooks and employees.  His business was stable, but 10 years ago, one employee came to The Krusty Krab and made it a household name.

Mr. Krabs saw Spongebob Squarepants walking to his restaurant and wanted to see if Spongebob can handle the job.  When Spongebob got the job done, the rest is history.

Mr. Krabs also can bring the best out of his employees.  For Spongebob, Mr. Krabs knows he will cook for 24/7 and for Squidward, he knows he needs money and has no motivation on anything except being lucky and famous.  Mr. Krabs has dealt with a lot of HR issues from compensation, paid vacation, motivation, performance evaluations, succession planning, and development and training.  Although Mr. Krabs is cheap, he does create the best training video there is:

Krusty Krab Training Video Part 1

Krusty Krab Training Video Part 2

Mr. Krabs:  he’s successful, business-savvy, cheap, alert, tons of wisdom, a true motivator, a leader, and the fourth recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award.

Nominees for the First Woman Pop Culture HR Award

If you been reading my Pop Culture HR Awards posts, you realize the four recipients are men.  I can tell you the fifth recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award will be a woman.  One problem: I don’t know which one.  Women mostly dominate the HR field and for future installments I will put them, but this is special since this will be the first.

So calling all the HR professionals (ok anyone), please send to me on Twitter, email, or the comments section below who should be the first woman recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award.  Please give me three specific reasons of why I should choose this woman and it must have an HR theme.  Please submit by August 31 and the judging will be done by me.  The winner will get…I haven’t decided yet:  maybe a guest blog or free stress hockey pucks, or something else.  The recipent will be announce after Labor Day Weekend.

Here are the nominees so far (Updated August 6):

• Cinderella
• Kim Ng
• Mary Tyler Moore
• Carol Burnett
• Clair Huxtable
• Murphy Brown
• Margaret Pynchon
• Ann Romano
• Mary Poppins

Send me more nominees.

The Littles

This is a semi-fantasy of all the Tony Kornheiser Littles gathering in one area.

It was 2004; the Tony Kornheiser Show was ending its run on ESPN Radio after the network wanted to be more “sports-oriented.”  Kornheiser said his goodbyes and everyone was saddened by his lost through the radio airwaves.  The following year Kornheiser returned to radio locally in D.C. and every little in the country was happy.  So happy, one spawn a website dedicated to Mr. Tony.

Lehecka was your typical New Yorker who enjoys comics, video games and David Letterman.  Lehecka was also a big Kornheiser fan and proved it by sending emails, calling Mr. Tony on-air, and participate in a Tony Kornheiser Message Board.  The board dissipated since Lehecka had a fallen out with Mark Charcoale and decided when Mr. Tony returns to the radio airwaves, he’ll start a new site for Mr. Tony fans.  He thus began…This Website Stinks!

When Mr. Tony returned to the airwaves, Lehecka was vehemently promoting his new site and as a result, the site had a following.  Lehecka was shocked that a lot of people were signing up to his fansite.  Lehecka didn’t realize they’re so many devoted fans who wanted to talk about Kornheiser.  There were the elite emailers, the new fans, and the other dopes.  Lehecka realize he has built a community and expanded it to other areas. The community is wide from all over the land from the U.S., Canada, and England.  You had Fenster, Boba Fett, The Bopper, The Don, Gold Mine, The Stalker, Dr. Steve, Dobber, Nacho Dan, Chef, Architect Wes, Lambeth, Penfold, Marleykiss, Duckworth Lewis, The Artist, Kuke, The Haikuist, Esther, The Architech, Mrs. Kornheiser-Stewart, Gadsen Gal, Anorak, Pocket Ten, Smirking Chupacabra, Big Time, and the Porn Star.  The littles not only discuss Mr. Tony, they discuss the key events from Cricket, video games, Blackenstein, the Tron guy, and many hard-hitting topics.  Lehecka had something going on, and then he hatch up another plan.

Lehecka was invited to “The First and Last Annual Nerds in Paradise Golf Closed Invitational,” where all the Mr. Tony fans from the old message board came to Reston, Virginia for a round of golf and a fancy dinner to have the Mr. Tony Experience.  Lehecka had a great time and wanted to do this again.  However, Mr. Tony was named the new analyst for Monday Night Football.  Lehecka had to put it on hold…for a few years.

A couple months ago, Mr. Tony not only resign from his analyst position for Monday Night Football, but was let go from the Washington Post after nearly 30 years with the Post.  Lehecka decided to setup a golf event in the D.C. area to show support that Mr. Tony needs to return to the radio or podcast airwaves.  Lehecka asks his friends from the message board to setup “The Second and Last Annual Nerds in Paradise Golf Closed Invitational.” Every member on the This Website Stinks Board came to Reston to show support of Mr. Tony returning on-air.  Everyone brought one gift to Mr. Tony from Chocolate Penguins, Johnnie Walker Blue, even one brought a Pontiac Solstice.  Mr. Tony brought his friends and co-workers to the course to soak in on the atmosphere.  Kornheiser mention this event is the biggest bathtub event Wilbon and he ever attended and seemed to be moved by it.

This was the first time all of the members met.  There were lively discussions and jokes all around, The Stalker stalking, The Don giving podcast tips to Mr. Tony, and everyone ran away when Tracee Hamilton rods showed.  The overall result was the event was big success, even bigger through Twitter and Facebook, and demand from for the radio show to be back.

Fast forward to September 2009, with his high demand and unwarranted donations from his fans, Mr. Tony went back on the airwaves in podcast form.  Mr. Tony brought his friends, Gary Braun, and a new Social Media dope to sort through the messages on Facebook and Twitter.  It’s good to have Mr. Tony back yodel on crap we care.

If I Was Running A Company…SHRM Playlist

Two things to know:

1. I was going to take the week off posting because of the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) Conference and the holiday weekend.
2. This is an informal post.  The how-to stuff will resume next week.

I am not there for the SHRM Conference in New Orleans as I am at home reading tweets of HR people partying, learning, sweating, and showing off the goods (you know what I mean).  Now, people will have different opinions on how the conference went if they learn something, met new people, or their experience and I’ll be interested on everyone’s thoughts about the SHRM Conference in my Google Reader and Twitter.  However, SHRM made bigger news beyond the conference.

In Tuesday’s SHRM Conference blog post, SHRM release their official song tunes on iTunes.  I know SHRM read Human Resources Puf and Stuf about music and did a great thing of releasing their general session playlist.  As for the playlist itself, two words:

UTTER CRAP!!!

At least they had Michael Jackson after what happened last week, Sheryl Crow, Goo Goo Dolls, and some New Orleans music.  However, in the Sound Opinions scale of buy it, burn it, trash it, this should of not exist.  SHRM has always said that want to progress and reach out.  If you have artists like Jonas Brothers, Jesse McCartney, Fall Out Boy (vastly overrated), The bad Linkin Park, the remix crap from Haddaway, and the other pop stuff.  That list makes me question SHRM’s progress to move forward and I do not know if SHRM will be taking serious again.  Even the Washington Nationals Music Supervisor is laughing.

However, no need to fear SHRM as I have an alternate playlist to cover your mistakes.  Let’s kick this off:

First, SHRM needs to set the tone, a positive attitude for the conference:

There will be a lot of talking in the conference and there will be new connections made:

You be attending a lot of sessions and hear a lot of speakers. If you want some rhythm on what you’re learning, get out the headphones, put one side on and the other hanging on the side.  Listen to this beat and hear the speaker talk and magic happens:

I know SHRM has a few New Orleans musicians on the playlist, which is wonderful.  I would like to add a few more:

Marc Broussard – Must Be The Water

In most HR surveys and exit interviews, people stay or go because of money.  Well, yeah. (I know it’s cheesy, but it’s so bad, it’s good)

The only thing I like about the SHRM playlist as I mention is honoring Michael Jackson.  How about the artist who truly catches the spirit of Michael Jackson.

In SHRM Conferences, there will be some negotiations

After the negotiaons are done, you feel confident that you snatch something important like stealing candy from a baby:

I know some songs on the playlist is very adult and not suitable for children.  No worries:

Then you celebrate

The conference is all over, but with social media, we will always be around:

That’s a playlist SHRM..Now, I need to figure out the playlist for next year in San Diego…or does Shamu DJ?

If I Was Running A Company…Pop Culture HR Award #3

To be frank, I’m doing this a bit early because of the upcoming SHRM Conference in New Orleans (I’m not going because of budget, but will be looking through Twitter (#SHRM09) and the livestream session on Wednesday with fellow HR bloggers) and the July 4th Weekend.  For the third recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award, this one is pretty simple for the upcoming Fourth of July:  The person is American, came from a unique background, has a certain look you cannot match, a people’s person, and held the biggest position in America.  Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you the third recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award…

DAVE KOVIC

To summarize the story of Dave, he owns a temp agency in Washington, D.C. (Georgetown to be exact) and he looked exactly like Bill Mitchell, who was President at the time, until he suffered a stroke and Bob Alexander, the Chief of Staff, hatch a plan to take over the Presidency with his agenda and using a “dummy” would make the plan go smoothly.  That did not happen as Dave became comfortable as President, set his own agenda and expose the corrupt system Bob Alexander was doing.  In the end, Dave went back to a local citizen and wants to run as councilman with the help of his temp agency staff.

There are several things that come from Dave:

1. He came from a temp agency background, although he was put in a shady situation.  He has given hope for anyone in the HR/Recruiting world that they can handle very critical decisions.
2. Dave delegates to the people who are experts in their field, give them a task and expect to handle the tasks given.
3. Dave knows what is right or wrong and although might be a nice guy, he knows when it is is time to stand up and be independent.
4. Dave wanted a jobs creations bill pass to Congress so “Everyone Works on Monday.”  He would know how to handle the stimulus.
5. Dave has a great network and support system from his “wife” Ellen, The White House Tour Guide, The Secret Service, Vice President Gary Nance, his temp agency staff, and Phoebe Cates…oh wait.

By using his HR/Recruiting/Entrepreneurial background, Dave quickly adapt to his role, either big or small, and if he can be President of the United States, anyone in HR/Recruiting who are good can be President someday.

Here’s to you, Dave Kovic…the third recipient of the Pop Culture HR Award.

#mrtony explained

Since everyone is explaining their hashtags on Twitter in their blogs, it’s my turn.  You heard the news that Tony Kornheiser left Monday Night Football.  This has open speculation that Tony would probably be back on the radio, live webcast, and/or podcast in the D.C. area.  This is where the Mr. Tony Twittles play a role.  

If you want Mr. Tony back on the air either by radio, satellite radio, public radio, internet show, podcast, or a Q and A luncheon like Carol Joynt does;  just tweet it under 132 characters and use the #mrtony hashtag so the topic can be visible for everyone to see.  You can also make your mark on @PTIShow or pester through @Redskinsinsider (Cindy Boren).  

Remember, the #mrtony hashtag is not only we want Mr. Tony back on the radio/podcast airwaves…this is a plea to stop the Animal Revolution that has been daunting us for the beginning of time.  

If you’re out on riding your bike tonight, do wear white.

Poll: What Should I Wear for the DC Twestival?

The Big Ego:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Headline:

 

 

 

 

The Big Pinkie:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Question:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Monkey:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Voting ends on Wednesday at Midnight